Thirty

I always enjoyed reading peoples tips for turning 30. Decided to write my own.

1. A lot of people want you to be happy, so they impart their version of happiness on you. Most times this won’t make you happy. Usually friends, siblings, parents do this with the best of intentions. It’s good to listen, but not always act on their suggestions.
2. Most of what you want is based on what people around you want. Part of this is mimetic theory, part of this is you’re the average of the 5 people around you. Either way, it’s good to take inventory of what you actually want.
3. “Listen to what is being preached today. Look at everyone around us. You’ve wondered why they suffer, why they seek happiness and never find it. If any man stopped and asked himself whether he’s ever held a truly personal desire, he’d find the answer. He’d see that all his wishes, his efforts, his dreams, his ambitions are motivated by other men. He’s not really struggling even for material wealth, but for the second-hander’s delusion — prestige. A stamp of approval, not his own. He can find no joy in the struggle and no joy when he has succeeded. He can’t say about a single thing: ‘This is what I wanted because I wanted it, not because it made my neighbour's gape at me’. Then he wonders why he’s unhappy.” — Ayn Rand
4. Relationships are not 50/50, they are 100/0. 50/50 means you expect the other person to pull their weight. You shouldn’t be in a relationship if it’s full of expectations. Give every relationship that matters your all, and if doesn’t reciprocate then cut it, but don’t go half way and then complain.
5. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Re-read that until it makes sense.
6. Go out of your way to find really good ice cream.
7. Every aspect of the world today is telling you to make career (or money) the most important thing. We delay living because we choose to run slightly faster, slightly further than our coworkers. Give yourself room to live.
8. Everything compounds. Humans are terrible at understanding compounding. Most of us can understand that saving $1 a day for 10 years with an interest of 10% can lead to almost 2x the amount vs not having an interest. At 50 years, this compounds to 33x. The same can be applied to our habits, the companies we build, and the relationships we have.
9. Don’t judge the agent, judge the system.
10. Play a big game. I can’t say it better than this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_fDhqRk_Ro&ab_channel=Movieclips
11. Meditation has a profound effect on your psyche. It helps you untangle some of the messiest knots in your head, and gives you clarity on the path ahead. If you work out your body to stay in shape, meditate for your mind.
12. Journalling/writing is the other best way to get to clarity. Plus it gives you a marker to go back to in case you find yourself in a similar situation again. Don’t just journal your thoughts, journal your feelings.
13. Time is an invaluable currency. Choose to spend the money where it can save you lots of time. This one is incredibly hard for immigrants to understand and took me a long time to appreciate.
14. The problem with working so hard is that you take everything much more seriously. You will fail, and you will succeed. It will matter, and then it won’t.
15. Psychological safety applies not just to work but to everything. Be the person that can create a safe space for everyone around you. For whatever reason, people are more anxious and stressed out today than ever before. Pressure from friends/family to hang out doesn’t help. Be the person anyone can feel comfortable around.
16. The best life hack is kindness. The kinder you are the more doors you will see open.
17. Validate people more than you validate parking. We are all insecure in some ways and we love being acknowledged. To an extent, acknowledging someone is a path to gratitude & appreciation. We all like being appreciated.
18. Don’t dismiss people or opportunities because they appear to be childish. A big example here is crypto. It’s easy to knock it, but understand why theres such a craze behind it before you do.
19. Never stop learning, and share what you learn.
20. Call mom & dad often. In fact, don’t just call them, teach them something. They love to learn and as they get older, they probably will need to.
21. Search for the truth. If you can understand the true motives of a person, company or organization your relationship/job becomes that much easier. The opposite is also true. Be open with your motives and life will play to your favour.
22. Momentum is a powerful force. Sometimes it’s the only thing keeping us going. Find ways to build momentum to spur better work, habits and an empowered life.
23. Get lost in Berlin, preferably in summer on a bicycle.
24. We are all pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things. We’re more trivial than the floating debris around us. Yet even the debris around us has something that makes it matter.
25. Most times a failure will present a learning. Some times it’s just a failure. Take the L with grace and move on.
26. The more work you do with your mind, the more breaks you need. Our bodies are used to physical activities over the generations, our minds are just getting into technology. Perhaps this is why it is easier for an older person to learn yoga than it is the iPad.
27. Have your own opinion. Be critical and train those around you to be critical.
28. Forgive your parents, if you can’t, thank them. Then forgive yourself.
29. Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s acting in spite of fear.
30. Overly cautious merchants do not prosper because of their fear of loss. Brave merchants get broken ten times in a row, then rise at the end. Whatever you fear losing, throw it to the thieves following your caravan, especially if it’s your faith. — Bahauddin

Thanks for reading!